01
Before you begin
Choose a time when you can be present. Put away notifications, agree that either person may pause, and keep this exercise separate from an urgent argument. There is no score and no requirement to finish.
02
Try the practice
- Choose one small topic, not the largest unresolved issue.
- The speaker uses short statements; the listener paraphrases before responding.
- Switch roles, then end with one appreciation. Stop if either person becomes overwhelmed.
03
One question to carry
- What did I hear? What did I miss?
Finish with grace. Thank each other for showing up. Choose one small way to carry the connection into the next day.
Safety first. Do not use a joint exercise where there is fear, violence, coercion, surveillance, or sexual pressure. Find confidential help →